An Abbreviated Paper on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

by Dr. Clay Barnes

The intent of this paper is to present a brief overview of what the Bible says concerning divorce and remarriage . This paper will in no way be exhaustive as many people have undertaken the task of writing many books on this subject. It is also understood that evangelical Christians have often landed on different sides of this difficult issue depending on their understanding of the pertinent Biblical passages. 

One of the greatest arguments facing the church of the 21st century is: what Biblical passages are cultural in nature and therefore not relevant to the post-modern society in which we find ourselves? We want to reiterate our stand on the inerrancy of Scripture. Therefore, unless the passage is CLEARLY symbolic or the cultural aspects have no effect on the meaning of the passage, we will hold to a literal interpretation and follow the instructions. For example, Paul tells us to greet one another with "a holy kiss" (Rom 16:16; II Cor 13:12). Given our culture, when we choose to greet with a handshake rather than a kiss, nothing is lost in the passage.

A second major concern for the church today is legalism versus grace. Though the issues surrounding divorce and remarriage can be a veritable minefield as concerns grace and legalism, we stand on the following principles.

  1. We are justified (saved) through grace alone (Rom 3:23-25, 28; Eph 2:8-9)
  2. Jesus came to fulfill the law, not to abolish it (Matt 5:17-18)
  3. Christians are required to live a holy life, in obedience to the commands of Jesus and the Scriptures (Jn 14:21; 15:18-19; I Jn 2:3-4)

The Church must constantly walk the line between "a form of godliness"

(II Tim 3:5), of which legalism is a type, and a form of "cheap grace," that which requires little or nothing of a believer in terms of a new lifestyle (James 1:22-25).

The following Biblical passages are considered by most scholars to contain the classic teachings of God’s word on the issues of divorce and remarriage. There would certainly be other passages that one could use, but again the aim of this paper is to present an overview, not an exhaustive exegetical study.

Malachi 3:16

"For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel…

The starting point for any discussion of divorce must be an acknowledgement of God’s design and purpose for marriage. Divorce is never God’s choice; that there are any exceptions at all is a result of sin and God’s mercy and grace.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15

14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?15 Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?

Much of the debate on the issue of divorce would be unnecessary if people would adhere to this initial Biblical principle. A Christian man or woman should not consider marriage (or serious dating) with an unbeliever. "Missionary dating" – where one dates another in order to bring them to Christ – is NOT a Biblical concept. However, when one is unequally yoked, I Cor. 7:12-16 applies.

Matthew 5:31-32

31 "And it was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

The following points can be made from this particular passage:

bulletDivorce should not be sought for trivial reasons. In fact, the only valid reason Jesus mentions for divorce is "marital unfaithfulness." The Greek word porneia is here translated as marital unfaithfulness in the NIV. Porneia is a general term for "sexual sin," and therefore a term that is broader in scope than simply adultery. It is the word from which we get pornography. In this text it is also in the present tense, which may mean a repeated and unrepented act.
bulletAnyone who divorces his/her spouse for a reason other than "porneia" commits adultery. "Irreconcilable differences" would likely be an example of a non-porneia reason. (We will come to another exception in subsequent texts)
bulletThe place where one must be careful is in remarriage – for this text states that anyone who marries a person who is divorced (except for the reason of marital unfaithfulness) commits adultery.
bulletIt is our understanding that a person who divorces his/her spouse for reasons of marital unfaithfulness (sexual sin that is unrepented) is free to remarry. We see no reason that this person is barred from marriage.

Matthew 19:3-9

3 And some Pharisees came to Him, testing Him, and saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?" 4 And He answered and said, "Have you not read, that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh’?

6 "Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." 7 They *said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?" 8 He *said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

This passage is, for the most part, a restatement and clarification of the words Jesus spoke in Matthew 5. One could make the following observations:

bulletDivorce, in general, was and is never part of God’s plan (vrs. 6&8) and should be avoided whenever possible.
bulletThe Greek word for "immorality" in verse 9 is "porneia," the same word that is used in Matthew 5. The same argument is made here – that anyone who divorces for a reason other than this and remarries commits adultery.